


Beautiful Oblivion

by orphan_account



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Altered Mental States, F/M, Forced Bonding, Friends to Lovers, I blame this on Pacifc Rim, Mind Meld, Psychic Abilities, Psychic Bond, does it count as a kink if it's not humanly possible, seriously what is this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-20
Updated: 2013-07-20
Packaged: 2017-12-20 19:05:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/890763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All the rest of the team saw was that in a moment, just as the swarm of aliens were neutralized, Steve had collapsed to his knees, and both were clutching their heads in their hands, Natasha reeling.</p><p>From the inside, it was far more complicated.</p><p>Steve was overcome with an onslaught of memories; images; conversations.</p><p>And none of them were his.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Beautiful Oblivion

**Author's Note:**

> _I hear words and clips and phrases_   
>  _I think sick like ginger ale_   
>  _My stomach turns and I exhale_   
>  _\-- Inside Out, Eve 6_

It was apparently an evolutionary trend, among the aliens. At least the ones the Avengers encountered. Hive mindset; mental links. None of them thought much of it but in terms of combat, didn't think about how it could affect them outside of strategy. Maybe if they'd paid attention, it wouldn't have been half so jarring. This wasn't a huge swarm, but they were tenacious and Natasha had been struggling against one for some time. Steve delivered it a crushing shield blow to the neck in attempt to assist her at the same time that she used her Widow's Bite. There was a crackle of electricity; another of emotion; and Steve was falling into Natasha's memories.

All the rest of the team saw was that in a moment, just as the swarm of aliens were neutralized, Steve had collapsed to his knees, and both were clutching their heads in their hands, Natasha reeling.

From the inside, it was far more complicated.

Steve was overcome with an onslaught of memories; images; conversations.

And none of them were his.

Sometimes he thought he could see Natasha, and when they were both plunged into icy water he wanted to tell her that you weren't awake for long before you blacked out, but the silence of the ocean was suddenly the falling of shells, and he could hear his mother telling him to always get up. No...No, it wasn't his mother, it was someone speaking in harsh Russian that he somehow understood -- "Get up, or you'll be sorry." -- and he could hear Natasha screaming. Steve called her name, tried to find her in the peripherals of his vision, but the world was brightening back into significance.

Steve's head ached like it was in a vise and he yelled -- just to get something  _out_ \-- as he clapped his hands over his ears, as if to quiet the clamor in his own mind, overflowing with too many thoughts and memories.

Distantly, Steve was aware of her confusion and wariness, hints of fear coloring the edges.

Clint had come running, and dragged her up and backwards.  
It felt like someone was pulling his arm out of his socket, and Steve would have cried out but for the fact that Natasha was already screaming, fighting against her partner's hold and stumbling forward until they were once again within a few feet of each other, and the pain was a dulled throbbing.

She looked up, met his eyes.

_This is one hell of a thing._

He could only nod.

 

* * *

 

Bruce and Tony said that the electric shock through the body of the alien must have transferred some of the mental connective abilities through to them.

All Steve knew was that he felt her like an extension of himself, knew all she had gone through and every thought in her mind. He was kept from feeling absolutely invasive only because he knew it was the same for her.

He knew her bitter hopelessness, her fatalistic view of the world. The acidic veil of self-loathing which she so often wrapped around herself.  
And she knew his survivor's guilt, his shell shock and depression. How his natural inclination to lead collided with his fear and expectation of disappointing the people around him, as he so often had.

But it was simple, somehow. Sensing his discomfort at a large event, Natasha would offer him a small, personal smile. He would feel it brush against his thoughts, warm as hot chocolate and just as sweet -- not something he beforehand would have expected of her. But though her face remained largely impassive, Steve knew all of the emotions that bubbled just under her skin, flaring and glowing in response to situations and people.

When she grew angry and withdrawn, Steve could soothe her with something that seemed as intimate as an embrace; though the connection was only inside their heads.

 

* * *

 

They still couldn't be too far apart without searing pain, and at first it was awkward and clumsy feeling. Everything had to be coordinated, planned. And yet they fought together in a beautiful, seamless way; feeling out the situation and knowing immediately their course of action, working in a tandem way that was near surreal in its perfect execution.

After a while, they gave up trying to sleep in separate beds and took the same one. After that, when one was roused from the depths of slumber upon feeling sharp pricks of fear and smothering blanket of worry that were the warning signs of a nightmare, they merely had to mumble a reassurance, reach out to be in physical contact.

Soon after that they automatically went to be cuddled together; as tangled with their bodies as they were in their thoughts.

 

* * *

 

It surprised everyone how little they argued, considering the manner in which the situation had been thrust upon them. But as they understood why the other was angry or had felt wronged, they often had things solved between them without saying a word.

It was difficult for messages to be misunderstood when they had bled together so fully.

 

* * *

 

The first time she kissed him, the warm, heady feeling was only amplified as both were acutely aware of the other's  emotions, bouncing off of each other and growing under the force of their understanding, their respect and regard until, for both of them; it felt like there was absolutely nothing else in the entire world.

 

* * *

 

They stood closer than they needed to, seemed to gravitate towards one another as their bodies mirrored the closeness of their minds.

 

* * *

 

It wore off, after a while. They no longer felt the presence of the other just nudging at the back of their mind.They only became more inseparable as it faded and the connection began to sever; subconsciously trying to compensate for the lack of their understanding, their shared view of the world.

They argued, misunderstood each other and took advantage of the fact that they no longer had to be within feet of one another. But time alone felt wrong, now. Like a part of them had been discovered, then ripped away.

After such absolute knowledge and understanding, any other communication seemed weak; inhibiting.

 

* * *

 

When they made love, it was like they had tangled together all over again.


End file.
